My daughter turns 16 today. Had a hard time getting out of bed b/c a grief wave hit me; my sister would have sent her a ton of emojis and celebratory all-caps texts by now.
E came over for 2 weeks after F was born to do all the things a grandma would have done after a grandchild is born. (Our mom was growing frail by then and, we learned later, in the early stages of dementia.) E adored her niece.
I hate when the grief waves hit like this.
When I don’t have to teach straight out of the textbook, CCD can be fun, especially when prizes are involved. Then again, you get a vision of the kids who are headed for a life of gambling addiction. 😐
Heard Nirvana’s cover of “The Man Who Sold the World” while driving this afternoon. Hearing it again on the coffeehouse’s stereo just now. Somewhere, Kurt Cobain (or David Bowie) is trying to tell me something.
Nine years ago today: This could explain where I’ve ended up spiritually for Lent this year.
My blog presence for the next 6 months or so probably will be 80% baseball and 20% work procrastination—although there’s a giant Venn diagram overlap between the two.
Life goal: Start each day just like this.
Sigh.
Hope it’s not too late for me. 😐
Good morning and Happy Opening Day for all who celebrate.
Oh, look. Mommy’s first beta-blockers.
(Credit: Support the Grieving on Instagram) | More Meme Therapy
Three years ago today: My kid escaped the clutches of pandemic learning and went back to in-person school.
Coming soon.
Seven years ago today: No.
I will be watching Ryan Gosling’s performance from the Oscars telecast on a constant loop tomorrow. That is all.
Eight years ago today: Baby’s first infographic.
Nothing like the fast food of my people to cheer up the soul.
Eleanor gave me this art for Christmas the year she had her first stroke. She didn’t bother with her art and greeting card work in the last 6 months before her passing, especially when she lost use of her right arm and hand. I can’t help but think that this inability to create led to her decline.
Taking her voice to heart at the start of my 58th year.
This is my first birthday without my sister. I already miss her texting me a crapton of cake emojis or leaving silly voicemail singing “Happy Birthday” to me.
I’ve not been keen on this day in recent years. I don’t see that changing.
Even so, as Lin Brehmer would say, it’s great to be alive. Onward.
No, I will not follow my employer’s social media accounts. (Except on LinkedIn, which I rarely use.)
Listening to the New Heights podcast, and Jason Kelce tossed off a line about Yoko Ono. “You mean the speed skater?” Travis Kelce asked. He didn’t appear to be kidding.
I like the Kelce brothers. I’m going to figure it’s a generational thing and move on with my life.
Went to bed at a reasonable hour. It’s now almost 9 a.m. Still can’t bring myself to get up and trudge downstairs to the home office to start the work week. I’ll get there and put in my usual 8+ hours. Eventually.
It’s been like this most work days the past few months. Daily “Sunday scaries” each and every morning. 😬
Gave up giving up on Threads for Lent. I’ve had a particularly rough week or two of wrestling with grief and exhaustion and spiritual emptiness, and the connections I make through Threads bring me comfort in a way that dealing with people I know personally cannot.
(I can post on Threads but can’t bring myself to return texts from friends and family. That sounds screwed up, I know, but there it is.)
I have a love/hate relationship with Micro.blog.
I fell in love with the place when I first joined. I saw it as a Twitter alternative, not fully understanding that it is largely a blog platform attached to a social media community.
It remains my go-to blogging place, even though the effort to change its visual theme takes a degree in coding that I just don’t have the time or patience for. Otherwise, it’s such a simple and straightforward platform for blogging. I love it for that, and I will recommend it to anyone who is looking for a place to blog.
As for the community part? I liked it at first, but the aspects that annoyed me began to pile up: the lack of diversity and women, the Apple fanboy discussions that broke out too often, the smug I-quit-all-corporate-media-and-you’re-an-idiot-if-you-don’t-too thing.
What finally drove me away for the most part was a post I wrote about my sense that I am probably on the autism spectrum. It brought out a few reactions to the effect of, “Why is being autistic so trendy?” and “I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to be autistic” and “My son is autistic, and it’s absolutely a terrible thing to want to be.”
(Never mind that I didn’t say I wanted to be autistic. I just said that the more I learn about autism by virtue of having a daughter on the spectrum, the more I realized that many of the traits I’ve had since childhood were considered indicators of this neurotype, and it seemed to explain a lot about my life.)
So, basically, a sense of unkindness (with a vague whiff of mansplaining) was a last straw for me in the M.b community, just like it seems to be for most people who leave a given social platform. I’ve kept my posts off the community timeline for the most part since then but have continued to blog through Micro.blog.
I still believe in Micro.blog as an indie web platform, and I don’t see myself leaving it anytime soon. But I’ve found the kind of community I had hoped for there at a Meta platform, of all places.
Threads is strangely comfortable for me, and I hope Meta doesn’t ruin it with invasive ads (though I expect it eventually will). Until Threads gets fully commercialized, I’ll be there for my social media peeps. And I’ll still be at M.b for all my blogging needs.
I hate not having a pen I like when I need it.
I’m a gel pen girl, and I usually have such a pen on my person at all times. Except now, right this minute, at the coffee shop when I like to journal. Very annoyed with myself, and settling for gratuitous blog posting instead.